March 1st, 2026
Listen March 1st is basically still February it counts as a monthly blog post. To be honest my sleep has just been a bit of a mess and the depression I've been going through hasn't been helping so I've been losing track of days. Part of it too is that I was just trying to put off working on blog posts as much as I can while I figure out website stuff. Thinking I may move the blog off the website and onto dreamwidth and look into a way to embed dreamwidth onto the site but I don't know. Have to see.
I'm still working on stuff with my friends but seems our soft deadline of February has come and gone, it's definitely gonna take us longer than originally thought. Admittedly this is partly cause some of us have other responsibilities like college and work. Working together has been interesting though, feel like I'm learning a bit and hopefully as we get used to this we can get stuff done faster. Maybe we'll be done by the end of March who knows haha.
If you've been reading the descriptions under my art lately you know I've been struggling a lot with art based depression and I'm not sure what to say here that I haven't already vented about under my art already so I don't think I'll touch on that here (especially cause right now I'm in a pretty good mood and don't wanna ruin it haha).
Recently I went on bluesky and decided to look up the word proship and both block everyone calling themselves proship and everyone saying proship DNI cause I think it'd be funny if I could get on both a proship blocklist and proship dni blocklist. I block proship DNI for the obvious reason that even if I'm not "proship" I enjoy rapefiction so these people probably don't want me around lol. I block proship people because god every time I see any self-declared proship person speak it reveals how many people cannot have mature conversations. It's also funny how many of them are complaining about antis while being in fandoms for literal children, I saw someone talking about a "trolls proship list". trolls? the fucking toys with the stupid hair? the fucking singing killed my grandma movie trolls? fucking trolls? Maybe engage with actual adult media instead of complaining about "puriteens".
And god what a phrase "puriteen" is, a phrase that instantly tells me that person has nothing of value to say. To act as if children online are responsible for the wave of censorship we're seeing is completely ignorant, yeah maybe some teens can get you bullied out of a zine online and that's bad but be for real when talking about massive websites and government policies. Especially it ignores that these kids are just as much if not more victims of this rise of conservatism. If you can understand that many of your peers grew up in a society that tells them sexuality is bad, had conservative parents that taught them anything "deviant" is disgusting, and had to unlearn shame than why can't you understand that is the truth for these teenagers but in the modern era with it's again rise in conservatism and the way the modern internet is. It shows a complete lack of any critical thinking and shows these people don't actually fucking care about combatting "puritanism" they just hate that teenagers think their stupid fanfictions are gross, because it's easier to hate on a vulnerable group. God I hate fandom motherfuckers.
On the other scale I fucking hate how many grown ass adults can't handle anything involving nudity or sex and, more broadly like I was saying before with the trolls person, will not engage with adult media at all. I don't even mean porn I mean like people bitching about sex scenes in media or complaining that an R-rated movie had too much penis screen time. Like sorry you watched that entire movie and that's your one takeaway from it? "Oh but i'm a lesbian I don't wanna see two men having sex in a movie" sorry the gay media you decided to watch had gay sex in it grow the fuck up. And god we need to ban the word gooner from every part of the fucking planet I am so tired of this fucking word.
Recently I went back to following the Proko anatomy course only to find the next video, the shoulder muscles video, had been age-restricted since I last saw. Fucking shoulder muscles??? Age restricted. Thankfully I have an extension that bypasses youtube age restriction but the fact that this is even happening and that I need a bypass is horrid, it's an educational video. I decided to download these videos and when doing so I found out a lot more were of course age restricted, notably there were three drawing demos and of them 2 out of 3 were age restricted, the one not age restricted was the one that had a male model. This is why I believe we need more nudity, sex, and filth in the world. Also does anyone else think it's insane how so many rules against nudity specifically focus on nipples, like art websites I've been on where topless nudity is alright until there's a nipple, that's like saying showing the whole dick is fine as long as you censor the tip.
I hate the phrase "let people enjoy things" no I am shooting you in the head. I think it's actually a moral good to tell your peers to engage with adult media especially media that challenges them. To tell them to think more critically, engage with the themes of a work, to think past their knee jerk reactions, and to carefully listen to what people say to them. And yeah I'm kind of mean about it because I do think some of these people should be ashamed, I think it should be fucking embarrassing to act the way some of these people do. Act like a fucking adult with me.
I want to extra emphasize that people need to think past their knee jerk reaction because I think a good amount of people's problem is they can't do that. Like I said earlier we've grown up in these conservative environments that embed certain ideas into us and so when we encounter something that goes against those ideas we knee jerk react. The knee jerk reaction unfortunately shuts down critical thinking skills in many, rather than questioning "why does this make me uncomfortable?", "does my discomfort signify that I may still hold biases from my upbringing?", "am I even interpreting things correctly?" and so forth, too many people just decide if it makes them uncomfortable it's bad. Many of those people then try to frame their discomfort in some way that makes them morally superior because they don't want to admit fault because to admit fault means they're a "bad person" who "sinned" and they have to accept a hit to their ego. "You're making queer people look bad" is a basic example of this. I'm not gonna act like I'm completely above falling for my knee jerk reaction but god a lot of people don't even try.
